2019 Power Rankings-Week 6
Introduction Sweet Dee has as many fantasy football losses as Tom Brady has regular season losses....ever. She's 36-60. He's 213-60. In all of LOC history, this has to be the most random and most preposterous. But let's not bury the lede. Thanks to Will Fuller and Dalvin Cook, the Wounded Warrior Project will be receiving a nice donation from the League of Champions next month. The Joe Mac Invitational was the third highest scoring matchup of the week, but both teams broke 230 and I'd say overall it was a competitive first annual matchup for the JMI. I would have liked to see Paddock's kicker put in a little more effort, I mean the guy missed field goals all night long. I guess not everyone enjoys giving to people in need and honoring our fallen fathers. But whatever, not my kicker, that's for sure. Matt Gay would never do me like that. I did my best to honor Joe Mac as well. I am sure nothing would have pleased him more than watching his Washington Redskins franchise implode after a blowout loss to the Patriots while I got a much needed fantasy win to keep my season alive. You're welcome, Joe. Joe Mac Invitational (2019-Present) Nice work by Paddock to honor the Mac with a big time win, saving the downward spiral of their season and costing me a chunk of change (but all for a good cause). As the winner of the JMI, Paddock 9 will participate again next year and I'll even let him choose his opponent and charity. If he is overthrown, the victor can decide the charity and opponent in 2021. Joe Mac Invitational Appearances by Team Joe Mac Invitational Combined Scores & Money Donated 10% of 484.79, for you math nerds, is a cool $48.48. Hit me up on Venmo any time between now and the end of October. At the end of the month I'll make a donation in the league's name and post it in the thread as verification. Obviously, feel free to donate on your own if you don't trust me. Sweet Dee and RIPDab have already sent in their donations, and along with mine and Papa's we've hit $200 before this writeup has even posted. That's already a success in my books. Series Recaps Big week for win streaks, as every winning team extended win streaks against their opponents. * The Shotti Bunch is on a six game, four year win streak against Pain Train IR (9-2). Next Matchup: Week 12 * Garoppoblow Me extends their series win streak to three games dating back to December 2017 and draws closer to ma ma momma said (5-7). Next Matchup: Week 13 * RIPDab continues their dominance over Sweet Dee (9-2). Next Matchup: N/A * Paddock 9 continues to own Papa's Posse, winning their fourth straight (9-3). Next Matchup: N/A * Duck Punchers scored over 250 in their third matchup in a row against Bell of Da Ball, extending the series lead in the process (5-0). Next Matchup: N/A The 300-Point Club RIPDab joins Paddock 9 as the second team to break 300 this season. The record for most teams to break 300 in a single season is four, done back in 2013. The 302.82 scored by RIPDab represents the best single week in their franchise history and is the second time they have crossed the threshold. Garoppoblow Me still holds the record for most games over 300 with four. Playoff Probability We're through five weeks of the regular season and very few teams have defined themselves. GBM was one of the highest scorers through the first few weeks, but couldn't win a game. Now they are among the lowest scorers and they've won two of the last three. Shotti is the opposite (more on that below). But in the end, all that matters at the end of the regular season is your record. What chance do you have of making the playoffs, based on the first eight seasons of the LOC? If this chart is to be believed, every 4-1 team can be assumed in and there is a good chance Paddock 9 is safe at 3-2 barring an utter collapse. That leaves two spots for the other six teams. Big time matchups this week between Pain Train/GBM and Bell/Sweet Dee will only intensify the fight for the Festival. Lowest Scorer Through Five Weeks 2012-2019 Shotti makes some odd history this week by becoming the first team to have both the best record in the league and the worst point total through five weeks. They are the first team to ever score below 1,000 points but record only one loss in their first five games. This also marks the first time that Shotti has not broken the 1,000 point threshold by this point in the season. Last year's lowest scoring team, Pain Train, went on to the Glory Bowl. Best Record Through Three Seasons For the third year in a row, Bell of Da Ball has started 2-3. He has no chance of catching some of the best performers through three seasons, but who does he have a chance to catch? Here are all-time records for every team through their first three LOC seasons. Bell can potentially finish 18-21 at best and 10-29 at worst, but my guess is they finish around 15-24. Their team is scoring, just not winning, but I can see them going 4-4 in their last eight or even popping off a nice win streak to get to 7-6 and their first playoff appearance. Commish Cup Competition As we near the halfway point of the LOC regular season, there are three 4-1 teams competing for the two bye spots and they are three of the only four teams to ever finish in first place in the regular season. Paddock 9 lurks close behind at 3-2 hoping to make history. The only teams to ever finish in first place in the LOC are Duck Punchers (twice), RIPDab (twice), The Shotti Bunch (twice), and Garoppoblow Me (twice). The Commissioner's Cup Winners by Year Commissioner's Cup Wins by Team Years in bold are championship seasons. Survivor Update Pat has been eliminated. His selection of good teams in tough matchups was perplexing. Usually you either try to find bad teams with an upset chance or ya know, good teams in very easy matchups. But Pat, you do you. You're eliminated now. Six teams remain! Monthly Meetings - The Shotti Bunch Here is this weeks chart showing which months Shotti has played each team (minimum 3 seasons) in the LOC through the 2019 regular season: First October matchup for Shotti and Duck. First November w/Paddock 9. I have to say, I'm a little sad that Shotti and Duck aren't playing in week thirteen. It feels like tradition at this point. But at least we still have Paddock 9 and Pain Train to look forward to. Stat Chat Below are the all-time regular season records for every franchise in the history of the league, including defunct teams and teams in their inaugural season. Records are updated through 10/9/19. There have been 109 regular season weeks since the league's inception in 2011. Duck has a chance to make history this week by becoming the first team to record 70 regular season wins. Other stats of note: *Papa becomes the first team to lose 70 total games in LOC history. *Bell has now gone 25 consecutive regular season weeks without back-to-back wins. *Duck Punchers has passed momma said for 4th all-time on the list of most weeks in first place (12). *Duck wins his fifth straight game to open the series against Bell of Da Ball, moving into a tie for second place on the list of most wins against an opponent without a loss. RIPDab vs. Sweet Dee is still first (8-0). *Momma has set a new record for most weeks in last place all-time in LOC history. This is their 17th week in last place. They pass the previous league leader, Paddock 9. *Shotti Bunch has defeated Pain Train for a ninth time. He now leads the league in series in which he has defeated the opponent nine times. Bust Watch At this point it's not even frustrating to me anymore. It's just amusing to see how my first round pick is going to find a way to absolutely fucking suck. This is the FIFTH YEAR IN A ROW that my first round pick has been a bust. Injuries, suspensions, holdouts, shitty QBs. It doesn't matter how. My first round pick always finds a way. Power Rankings Anyone want to take a guess how this is all going to turn out? Sweet Dee is balling. She's 1-4. Shotti might have the worst team I've ever seen. They're 4-1. Someone has to win the Glory Bowl. 1(1). The Duck Punchers (4-1) Duck got 77.67 out of Watson and another 57 out of Cooper last week on their way to a statement win over high-scoring Bell of Da Ball. Now in first place, and with playoffs locked provided they don't perform at or better than 2-6, it's all about getting the roster ready for the playoff push. Taking down 3-2 Paddock would go a long way towards getting that bye and avoiding a fourth straight Cinco De Lose-O. 2(4). RIPDab (4-1) Hard not to bump up RIP after answering last week's power rankings (when they were essentially called pretenders and not contenders) by putting up the highest score in their franchise history. Helps when Aaron Jones scores four TDs (64.43 total) and McCaffrey has 236 all-purpose yards (75.65 total). This week it's arch nemesis The Shotti Bunch, against whom they often perform well in the regular season. They're off to a good start with 27.30 from Edelman. 3(2). Paddock 9 (3-2) Paddock had to get it done without the Chiefs this week, as Mahomes nursed an ailing ankle. Once again it was Dalvin Cook balling out, with...I hate that this happened...Will Fuller V scoring 68.10! Michael Gallup had 38 and Josh Jacobs had 42 on the bench, or else this team easily goes over 300 and costs us all more Joe Mac Money. It's Watson vs. Mahomes this week in the NFL and the LOC. 4(6). Bell of Da Ball (2-3) Hunter Henry looks to be returning sooner than previously thought, which is good news for a Bell team that desperately needs to start stringing wins together. It will be the battle of the "Deserves better" this week when they go up against Sweet Dee. One team will finally catch a break, the other will have their shit luck continue. 5(3). The Shotti Bunch (4-1) Gordon will be getting more touches this week, so once again we have a look at some elite RB talent on Shotti's roster (Carson, Ridley, Elliot). It's a far cry from the three-headed monsters of old, but it could be enough to keep this dumb win streak alive. 6(5). Sweet Dee (1-4) Well, it's that time of year again. Sweet Dee needs to win or the season is likely over. They are defending champs, so I don't feel too bad, but any time a team ranked third in scoring is in 10th place it pains me. Every year it happens to someone, I just wish it had happened to Shotti and not her. 7(7). Papa's Posse (2-3) Papa has been ranked 7th every week this season and I don't see how he gets out of this spot until he wins two in a row. Now is the time, as the combined record of their next three matchups is 5-10. 8(8). Garoppoblow Me (2-3) Literally the entire team got hurt at practice this week. But by far the most frustrating was Chris Herndon, who finally got back from suspension only to pull a muscle at practice the same day that Evan Engram was declared out. Gurley is doubtful and Alvin Kamara is hurt, too. So yeah, season is basically a wrap. 9(10). Pain Train IR (2-3) Lucky for GBM, Pain Train has problems of their own. Tyreek is still iffy for his game against the Texans, while Davante isn't ready to return from turf toe. PT is rolling with Pringle and OJ Howard this week, which instills a little confidence in the GBM clubhouse. But it's really been a battle of attrition with both of these squads so we'll see who can fuck up the least and get to .500. 10(9). ma ma momma said (1-4) At what point are we going to just collectively accept that Aaron Rodgers is not a fantasy QB anymore? The guy is killing momma's season. I mean, Mike Evans putting up zero and Sammy Watkins pulling a Philip Dorsett and getting hurt on the first drive hurt too, but man is this guy Aaron tough to watch. Matchup of the Week - "If you had...One Shotti...One Opportunity." Take a look at this series between TSB and RIP: Updated through 1/2/19 RIPDab 0-5 in the playoffs against TSB, but then 6-7 in the regular season, including three of the last four. This is their only scheduled matchup in 2019, so it's RIPDab's one shot at putting a dent in the LOC Dynasty's armor. Of course, they will eventually meet in the Festival of Champions, so it's not ACTUALLY their only matchups. But it will be the first time since 2014 that they don't face three times in one season. Most importantly, this is a battle of 4-1 teams with major bye implications. At 5-1, you can basically take the rest of the regular season off. Other matchups this week: * Bell vs. Sweet Dee (1-1) * Duck vs. Paddock (8-8) * ma ma momma said vs. Papa (9-6) * Pain Train vs. Garoppolow Me (10-4) Paddock will jump from 4 to 2 with a win, while Duck likely stays in 1st with a victory. Seasons are on the line in Mama vs. Papa, Bell vs. Sweet Dee, and Pain Train vs. GBM. Great week of action. Enjoy.